Lights Magazine TV

Ghosting ¿Por qué esconderse?

Por: Lights Magazine
A Nora le pasó. Tenía 35 y él 42. Parecía una relación seria y él un caballero. Después de dejarlo en el aeropuerto por un viaje de trabajo, se terminó la relación a distancia a los dos días, y sin decirse directamente que no querían seguir más. El hombre solo dejó de contestar los Whatsapps. ¡Qué cobarde!

Cuando escuchamos que hay parejas en las que uno de los dos deja de contestar y no se reporta por mensajes de texto, preguntamos si de verdad eso sucede o si en serio hay quienes lo hacen. No lo hubiera creído hasta que Nora contó lo que le ocurrió hace un par de años.

Practicar el “ghosting” significa un rechazo para quien lo recibe, sin oportunidad de saber qué ocurrió, qué se hizo mal o por qué se alejó así. Se describe incluso como una manera cruel de hacerle saber a la otra persona que ya no es necesaria y da a entender que no merece ni una explicación.

Hoy en día el ghosting se lleva a cabo de forma más fácil porque existen redes sociales para hacer citas. Sales con una persona, la sigues viendo por 2 ó 3 meses, piensas que todo va bien, y de repente te topas con que te tiene bloqueado hasta para recibir llamadas.

Lo más desesperante para quien sufre esta desaparición de quien consideraba su pareja, es que una ruptura duele, pero la incertidumbre causa una desesperación de la que es más difícil salir, pues no se sabe a qué se debió. Se puede analizar todo lo bueno que se dijo o hasta el más mínimo comentario que se haya podido mal interpretar para saber si se tuvo o no la culpa del final. Hasta se puede llegar a pensar que algo le pasó, pero no, pides a tus amigos que revisen y avisen si saben algo del ´ex´ y resulta que sí, está bien. Tiene hasta fotos con otras personas, muy sonrientes ambos. Hasta parece que se contagia “su amor”.


¿Qué hago si me pasó?

Piensa que a Carrie Bradshow en Sex and the City también le pasó cuando uno de sus novios le avisa por medio de un post it (el pre ghosting antes de la era digital).

  • Asume la realidad y acepta que sientas dolor y coraje.
  • Piensa en ti, pero en la forma en que harás ejercicio, dormirás bien y comerás mejor, esto te elevará el ánimo.
  • Platícalo con un amigo. Cuando decimos lo que sentimos, al oírlo puede que no sea tan doloroso y tal vez entiendas señales que no viste. Además la otra persona te podrá dar su punto de vista y seguro te dará paz.
  • Ten en cuenta que no toda la relación dependía de ti. El otro 50% no quiso seguir y no tuvo el valor de decirlo de frente porque le teme a los conflictos.


Para saber más

  • El ghosting es desaparecer de la vida de alguien sin avisar.
  • Para llevarlo a cabo, lo más común es eliminar a la otra persona de las redes sociales.
  • Actualmente los adolescentes terminan una relación sin explicaciones y al creer que eso es normal, marcarán la pauta para sus futuras relaciones.
  • Muchas veces sucede porque existe miedo a enfrentarse a los sentimientos del otro.
  • El afectado puede ver que la otra persona sigue su vida, al parecer feliz, sin tenerla a su lado.
  • Quien resulta afectado empieza a creer que es una persona sin valor, porque a su pareja no le interesó terminar directamente la relación.

¿Qué es el “zombing”?
Es una situación ultra incómoda en la que el que desapareció aparece a través de las redes sociales (incluso 10 años después) dando ¨me gusta¨ en las publicaciones que están en modo público para recordarte que está ahí, o como coloquialmente se dice: ´´para marcar territorio” y los demás lo vean. ¡Qué pesadilla!

¿Hay algo peor que el ´zombing´ y el ´ghosting´?

Sí, existe el “benching”, que es cuando no es ni un sí ni un no. Es decir, dejas la “velita encendida” o te permites ser la “vela perpetua” de esa persona, porque sabes que no llegarán a ningún lado juntos, pero tampoco dejan claro qué son.

¿Has vivido algo así? Si te ha pasado mándanos un email a info@lightsmagazinetv.com y tu experiencia será publicada de forma anónima en nuestro sitio web.

Lights Magazine TV

Una revista para toda la familia. #IluminaTuMente

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